In a region fraught with political uncertainties, a conflict-ridden past, and deep ideological divides, stories of love and kinship across the India–Pakistan border often emerge as powerful counter-narratives. Yet emotions—however earnest—cannot always bridge existential chasms. These divisions were starkly evident in the aftermath of the April 22 civilian tragedy in the Baisaran meadow of Pahalgam, India, further deepening the fractures in subcontinental diplomatic ties.

Partitioned Lands, Connected Lives

Much like the roots of a tree weathering a storm, the masses inevitably bear the brunt of geopolitical crises. The Pahalgam terror attack, which claimed 26 lives, has left yet another scar on Kashmir’s troubled soil. Disturbing incidents of this nature—including the targeted killings of Hindu pilgrims in Jammu’s Reasi district last year—signal an alarming pattern of sectarian violence aimed at destabilizing the region and eroding the essence of Kashmiriyat, an ethos of communal harmony deeply cherished by the local population.

This idea of a plural and inclusive India does not sit well with our western neighbour, long associated with state-sponsored and state-assisted terrorism. This sentiment was reinforced by Pakistan’s Chief of Army Staff General Asim Munir, who provocatively termed Kashmir Pakistan’s “jugular vein”—a rhetoric reflecting the securitization of the territorial dispute.

Even amid heightened political drama and cross-border tensions, cross-border couples continue to find themselves intertwined in relationships that defy political discourse and media narratives of hostility between two peoples with shared roots. Despite decades of animosity and periodic eruptions of violence, cross-border marriages are not new. India and Pakistan were once part of the same civilizational and cultural entity—sharing dialects, cuisines, and traditions. Such relationships remain especially common in states bordering the international boundary.

Yet in times of diplomatic fragility, these marriages become collateral damage. The Pahalgam attack prompted India to downgrade diplomatic ties, close the Attari border, suspend the Indus Waters Treaty processes, cancel short-term visas for Pakistani nationals, and ask them to leave within forty-eight hours. Such measures constrict pathways for emotional and familial reunions. Cross-border relationships are viewed as security liabilities rather than legitimate unions. Love letters often go unanswered—not by lovers, but by bureaucracies.

Cultural Bridges, Religious Harmony

The partition of the Indian subcontinent and the birth of Pakistan remain a traumatic chapter in South Asian history. Families were torn apart, homes abandoned, and identities abruptly reshaped. Some stayed by choice; many left by compulsion. But hearts did not always follow borders. Cross-border marriages are, for many families, a way of preserving cultural and religious harmony across the divide.

Within the Muslim community, such marriages often occur among extended families due to cultural acceptance of cousin marriages. With maternal aunts, uncles, and cousins living across the border, arranging these alliances is relatively easier. Hindu cross-border marriages, however, are far less common due to the dwindling Hindu population in Pakistan, driven by its theocratic state policies.

Over the years, cross-border marriages have acted as poignant gestures of reconciliation, sustained through community bonds, diaspora networks, and shared traditions. To address the legal and humanitarian needs surrounding these unions, policy tools like the Long-Term Visa (LTV) were introduced. The LTV particularly helps minorities from Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Bangladesh seeking permanent settlement in India—also covering Pakistani and Bangladeshi women married to Indian nationals.

Another less-discussed reason for Pakistani nationals to visit India is access to India’s world-class yet affordable healthcare system. India’s medical visa (Med Visa) and medical attendant visa (Med X Visa) are extended to Pakistani nationals on humanitarian grounds. These provisions also allow visa extensions for follow-up consultations, procedures, and alternative treatments under India’s AYUSH (Ayurveda, Naturopathy, Unani, Siddha, and Homeopathy) system.

In many cases, families creatively use this legal leeway to facilitate meetings between prospective brides and grooms or to solemnize marriages, especially when traditional visa routes are blocked.

The power of digital connectivity is equally transformative. Social media, online games like PUBG, shared artistic interests, or cricket discussions have sparked relationships across the border. When visas for weddings are denied, families often turn to online nikah ceremonies via video conferencing to solemnize marriages.

People-to-People Ties

Cross-border marriages do not come without challenges—prolonged separations, uncertain pathways to citizenship, limited legal options, and frequent visa denials. They are often perceived as security risks and subjected to public scrutiny. Yet politics frequently overlooks a simple truth: people-to-people ties often hold more power than state narratives.

In a region where formal dialogue remains fragile and sporadic, one of the most profound forms of diplomacy may well be the simplest—beginning with two words: “I do.”

(The writer is a PhD candidate at the School of International Studies, Jawaharlal Nehru University, researching on cross-border ties and terrorism studies. Views expressed are personal. She can be reached at www.linkedin.com/in/shreya-nautiyal-3aba8016a.)