In many advanced countries, values like civic sense, gender equality, and resilience are instilled in children by their parents and teachers early on. This not only builds their children’s personalities but also shapes national character. India, with aspirations to become a developed nation, may well take a leaf out of their book.

The values parents instill in children during their nascent years lay the foundation for the adults they'll become. In a way, parental involvement goes far beyond providing for their basic needs; it is about creating a nurturing environment where they can learn to be kind, compassionate, and responsible. When parents demonstrate empathy, understanding, discipline, and compassion towards their children, the latter learn how to extend these virtues to others.

Yet, it is not enough for parents to only recognize their influence; they must act on it. Parental involvement in character-building isn't a passive endeavour. They need to actively engage in every aspect of their child's childhood in order to instil the concept of good and bad, promote positive habits, and build resilience. The same holds true for teachers.

It is instructive to see how parents and teachers in developed nations help shape their children’s/students’ minds. Countries such as Japan, Finland, Norway, Singapore and Israel are some prime examples of successful integration of values education into public education systems. Values such as civic sense, respect, gender equality, discipline, and tenacity are not only included in the curriculum but also embedded in all aspects of school and social life.

Civic Discipline in Japan

Japan cultivates civic sense early by prioritizing character over academics. The first three years of primary school focus on manners, empathy, and group harmony rather than grades. Through daily routines, children learn early in life that the community is an extension of themselves, and that respect for public spaces and civic discipline are a shared responsibility.

Teaching humility, teamwork, and the idea that no job is too "small", Japanese parents and educators follow them up every day by way of strong, ingrained concepts. They follow meiwaku, a cultural rule meaning "do not be a nuisance to others". Children are taught how their behaviour impacts others. They believe in the spirit of mottainai, a term expressing a sense of regret over waste. Children learn to respect resources and keep things tidy.

To foster community connection and independence, solo commuting is encouraged, where young children walk to school in groups without parents. Older students take care of the younger ones.

For school chores and cleaning (soji), there is no provision for janitors/cleaners. Students and teachers clean the classrooms, hallways, and even bathrooms together. As part of lunch duty, students serve lunch to their classmates, clean their trays, and wash their plates.

There are very few public dustbins in Japan. Citizens and children are taught to carry their trash home to dispose of it. No surprise, then, that Japanese football fans were seen tidying up the stadium in Houston during the recent World Cup after the match in which Japan suffered a heartbreaking defeat against Brazil.

Gender Equality in Finland-Norway

Nordic nations in general, and Norway and Finland in particular, inculcate values of gender equality in early childhood. Mandatory equality planning is incorporated into national curricula, training educators to challenge subconscious bias and eliminating gendered vocabulary and play environments.

Rather than treating equality as an abstract concept, these countries deliberately restructure a child's daily physical and social environment to ensure that an individual's potential is never limited by their gender.

The Norwegian government mandates that kindergartens actively combat traditional gender roles. Educators must facilitate a culture where children feel completely free to choose activities regardless of biological sex. Instead of dividing spaces into "doll corners" or "truck stations", Nordic preschools focus on neutral, fluid arrangements. Toys are mixed together in common rooms to encourage boys and girls to play together. A boy playing with a doll or a girl building a wooden structure with tools is completely normalised.

Classrooms purposefully select picture books, fairy tales, and learning materials that subvert traditional gender norms—featuring stay-at-home fathers, working mothers, and emotionally expressive male protagonists.

Teachers are trained to notice and correct their own internalised biases. They are provided with specialised online courses where they use self-assessment checklists to evaluate how they interact with different genders. Educators avoid collective gendered addresses like "Good morning, boys and girls". Instead, they address children as individuals, by name, or as a collective group ("friends", "children").

They actively encourage boys to express vulnerability and talk about their feelings with words, while girls are heavily supported in taking physical risks, exploring the outdoors, and developing leadership traits.

In Norway, resources and public recognition are offered to childcare centres that reach at least a 20% male staff threshold. Having male role models wiping tears, preparing food, and tying shoes shows young children that nurturing care is not inherently female.

What children experience in daycare is mirrored directly by how their parents split labour at home. Because toddlers grow up seeing their fathers cook, clean, and stay home during illnesses, they enter preschool with an innate baseline understanding that domestic duties and careers belong to both parents equally.

Resilience in Israel

Israel frequently faces high levels of war-related trauma, rocket fire, and community disruption. Clearly, citizens, particularly young ones, require vital coping tools to prevent mental health damage. Inculcating the virtue of resilience and tenacity right from childhood becomes imperative, and this gets reflected in the way a toddler is groomed.

In Israeli culture, training a toddler to walk is deeply tied to the foundational concept of chutzpah (self-confidence/boldness) and cultivating early physical resilience. Israeli parenting heavily deprioritized overprotection, opting instead to let infants explore their physical boundaries independently to build natural toughness.

The training process reflects this unique, rugged cultural approach through several specific practices.

Toddlers are encouraged to walk barefoot outdoors on varied terrains like grass, sand, dirt, and gravel to toughen the soles of their feet and enhance sensory motor skills. Following the "Let Them Fall" philosophy, parents rarely rush to pick up a tumbling toddler; instead, they observe from a short distance to allow the child to self-soothe, figure out how to stand back up, and build spatial awareness.

Crawlers and early walkers are given free rein in public playgrounds and parks, navigating small obstacles, steps, and slopes entirely on their own. All this embeds a sense of functional independence into their very first steps.

Making India Developed in True Sense

Virtues like civic discipline and gender sensitivity are not at a premium in India. Basic civic sense is conspicuous by its absence. It is manifested in indiscriminate littering, spitting, traffic indiscipline, and vulgar or derogatory comments against women. Such attitudes find expression in foreign destinations as well.

Recent viral incidents in which Indian tourists were found dancing in a restricted airport tarmac zone in Vietnam sparked widespread debate about our poor civic manners.

At a time when India aspires to become viksit in the next two decades, we need to ponder on the scale and speed of not only our material progress but also our mental progress, particularly that of our children.And for that, the parent-teacher combination needs to work together, with a wider perspective, on this aspirational project.

“If a country is to become a nation of beautiful minds,” former Indian President APJ Abdul Kalam so aptly said, “I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference: they are the father, the mother and the teacher.”

(The writer is a former Indian banker and adviser, Union Public Service Commission (UPSC). The views expressed are personal. He can be contacted at rkrishnasinha@hotmail.com.)